Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Buying flowers for Shabbat

5 January, 2005

Question:

Last year I went to a taharas hamishpocha review course, and we decided to hold stricter on a few things, which has caused sholom bayis problem not to be believed!!!!!!!!!

One of them – is the giving of gifts during niddah – I go to the mikvah on saturday nights,and my husband used to bring flowers for that shabbos, and that was great. Now we learned that maybe giving gifts during htis time could be problematic, so he doesn't bring flowers anymore…….

So sometimes I get nothing………and I'm married 18 years, I think I deserve something…..I am going every month for more than 14 years, and not receiving anything makes me mad and not want to be with him, quite frankly.

Hubbie has a list of acceptable things, but doesn't always come through – flowers was so easy and so nice, and now it doesn't happen anymore.

The flowers weren't an especially romantic present, they just appeared on the table and everyone enjoyed them. I don't see how they're a huge halachic problem………..what do you think?

Help! Thanks!


Answer:

Your husband should feel free to buy you flowers.  Even those who are stringent with respect to affectionate gifts permit flowers in honor of Shabbat. 


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