Did I immerse on the right night?
19 June, 2017
I had staining in my first trimester of pregnancy and had to count 7 nekiim. When I was planning when to go to mikva, I counted out 7 days with my fingers. My husband was with me, and said, no, it's the day after that, not including the day of the hefsek tahara. When he said this, I suddenly got a fear that when I'd counted for the tevila before our baby was conceived, I made the same mistake. I knew that the day of the hefsek tahara is not counted in the 7 nekiim, but I'm afraid that I got confused and made a mistake. I have no way of going back and figuring it out. This greatly disturbs me, to think that perhaps my baby was conceived G-d forbid, when I was a nidda. If I toveled on the wrong day, it was after 6 nekiim, and not 7. I would also like to know (as this was more than a year ago) how I would go about waiting an extra day (I read that a woman who tovels early must make up the days that she didn't count) and if there is a tikkun I can do, other than being more scrupulous in the future. I would really appreciate your help and support. Thank you.
First of all, it is very possible that you actually immersed on the proper night. It's not as if you always thought the day of the hefsek counted as day 1. You know that you count 7 days after the hefsek, and just because you got confused at a different time while talking to your husband does not at all mean that you were confused the previous time as well. There is no need to be concerned that your child is a ben-niddah.
You are also not required to perform any tikkun since you are not at all certain that you actually immersed a night early. Your tevilah during your first trimester rectified any possible error, and you were definitely tehorah for the rest of your pregnancy.
If you still feel the need to do some type of teshuva or tikkun, giving tzedakah and reviewing the laws of niddah are appropriate actions.
Guilt can be crippling if you dwell on an incident (which in this case, probably did not happen) and replay it in your mind for months and years on end. But it can also be a positive force if you use it to change and improve yourself. Focus your energies on being a great mother to your baby. Spend more time reviewing the laws of niddah so you can become more confident in practicing these laws. When we learn from our mistakes we grow into better people.
Please feel free to get back to us with any further questions.
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