Bleeding from scar tissue, after dam betulim
I got married 2 months ago. The first night we had sex a few times until we felt we got it right, and it was very painful, but no blood. We separated when we felt we had succeeded even though there was no blood.
After I went to the mikveh, we had sex again, this time there was blood. A little bleeding for about an hour, which didn't come out on my underwear, I only saw it when I went to the bathroom. I consulted with a yoetzet, who told me this was probably dam betulim, and we separated 4 days and then 7 days and went to the mikveh again. She also told me maybe to go to a doctor and make sure there's no more, so that next time it won't happen again.
I went to a doctor, and he said there was a big scar, no remnants of the hymen, there's no need to worry about more bleeding. I asked over and over, since I wanted to be sure we don't have to separate again. He said there is no chance of bleeding again.
Now last night I went to the mikveh, we tried again, this time there was a lot of pain and a huge gush of blood, all over the sheets. We were both a bit freaked out, and since the doctor had told me there is nothing left but a scar I was really baffled.
I went back to the doctor, and he said the large scar that was there opened up, which would cause a lot of bleeding, since scar tissue is sensitive. He said the blood is not from the betulim (that's gone), and not from the womb, but rather from this old scar. Since it's not betulim, but a confirmed cut, I assume I'm NOT niddah? And if so, what should I do now to prevent further bleeding from the same cut during sex (he said it will still be sore for a while etc)
Mazal tov on your recent marriage!
You are correct. In this case, where the doctor previously confirmed that you had no more betulim and now confirms that you have a scar that opened up, you are not considered niddah from bleeding from the scar. To prevent further bleeding, we suggest that you make sure to use lubrication such as KY jelly. You may want to delay intercourse for a few days in order to allow the area to heal. Trying to allow penetration in a different position (perhaps with you on top) may also make it less painful.
As you know that you have a scar there, further bleeding after intercourse can be attributed to the scar until you reach the days on which you are expecting your period. When performing your hefsek taharah and bedikot after the next time you become niddah, go gently and skip the moch dachuk. Should the problem continue after that, please get back to us.
Should intercourse continue to be painful (even this cycle), we suggest you contact Talli Rosenbaum, www.physioforwomen.com, a urogynecological physical therapist who is trained to assist in such situations.
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