Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

  • Hebrew
  • English
  • Espnaol
  • Francais
Menu

Planning to divorce

29 May, 2007

Question:

Thank you for your website.

I have a dilemma and maybe also a halachic question – my husband and I are living in the same house but separate lives at this time in our lives. We are waiting until after our daughter gets married to officially go our own ways. I would like to know if in such a case I would be obligated to tell him whether I am niddah or even go to the mikvah if I have no intention to ever have relations with him again.


Answer:

We are sorry to hear of your marital situation.

If you are in niddah, your husband must know because of the various halachot involved.  In your situation, you are not obligated to divulge your status when tehorah to your husband, nor are you required to continue immersing in the mikveh.  However, you could still consider doing so. 

In a situation such as this, where a decision has been made to divorce, there is no requirement of relations after mikveh.  Nevertheless, by continuing to immerse, you would have the option of resuming contact should you wish to do so, as improbable as this might now seem.  We have received questions from women in similar situations for whom reconciliation became a sudden possibility and who regretted not having immersed on time.

If you have not done so already, we urge you to consider counseling.  At best, it might save your marriage.  At least, it could help you navigate the divorce process.  Referrals for religious counselors are available through Nefesh International, www.nefesh.org


This internet service does not preclude, override or replace the psak of any rabbinical authority. It is the responsibility of the questioner to inform us of any previous consultation or ruling. As even slight variation in circumstances may have Halachic consequences, views expressed concerning one case may not be applied to other, seemingly similar cases. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. Although every effort is made to ensure that the material within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is accurate and timely, it is provided for the convenience of the Web site user but should not be considered official. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional.

For further questions or comments: 

The Nishmat Women's Health and Halacha Site is a public service of Nishmat, The Jeanie Schottenstein Center for Advanced Torah Study for Women. This project and others like it are made possible by contributions from people like you. If you have benefited from the service, and wish to enable us to help others, click here to donate.


Users of Internet filtering services: This site discusses sensitive subjects that some services filter without visual indication. A page that appears 100% complete might actually be missing critical Jewish-law or medical information. To ensure that you view the pages accurately, ask the filtering service to whitelist all pages under yoatzot.org.