Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Rabbi too stringent?

24 July, 2007

Question:

Thank you for your wonderful website, which I visit very often.

Yesterday I was on my 5th day of the 7 clean days and had brown staining (with hargashah). I showed it to the Rabbi, stated that this is already the 5th day, that I have no children and that I am trying to conceive. He told me, that the stain is not fine.

I am very frustrated. In the community I live now, there are two Rabbis you can show your stains. I haven't tried the other yet, but this one always always tells me that the stains are NOT fine.

I have lived in Israel before, and the Rabbis I showed my stains ruled sometimes, that it is fine, and sometimes, that it is not fine. But now, my stains are always considered as "not fine".

Is he too strict? I am really frustrated, both for not being with my husband and for having severe difficulties to conceive.

Thank you for any idea.


Answer:

In staining cases that are not clear cut, different rabbis may have different standards of when to invoke stringencies or leniencies.  Of course we cannot assess over the internet whether or not your stain was clear cut, though your past experience from Israel may indicate that it was not.

Given your frustration and your difficulties communicating with this rabbi, we suggest that you bring future questions to the other rabbi.  With regards to your most recent stain, you could only bring it to the other rabbi if you make it clear to him that you asked this rabbi first.

You may also wish to review our article on "Hargashah", which is an area of great confusion.  Please don't hesitate to get back to us with any further questions.


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