Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Mikveh while visiting in-laws

10 September, 2007

Question:

My husband and I are both ba'alei teshuvah and are in our shanah rishona. This Rosh Hashana we will be eating and sleeping at my husband's parents' house during yom tov. My mikveh night this month falls on the first night of Rosh Hashana. My husband's parents will almost certainly ask us where we have been when we arrive 'late from shul', my father-in-law is also planning on going to shul, although not the same shul as the mikveh is located.
We realise that this kind of situation must not be unique to us and many people from different backgrounds must have to deal with going to the mikveh in a tsnius way on Shabbos/yom tov.
Can you give us any advice on how to behave / permissibility of lying vis-a-vis where we've been / what to say etc.
Thank you and gut yom tov!


Answer:

We suggest you check the exact mikveh hours, since you should be able to immerse before shul is even over.  If this is not the case, lying about your whereabouts ("We bumped into an old friend", "The Rebbetzin wanted to wish us Shana Tova", "We were asked to deliver something to so-and-so") is permissible in order to protect your privacy. 

Although it is preferable to keep the fact of immersion private, you are not halachically obligated to do so if it will cause unnecessary tensions.  If you prefer to confide to your mother-in-law that you need to go to the mikveh so that the evening can go more smoothly, you may do so.


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