Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Domestic abuse

18 March, 2008

Question:

I've been married for about five years, with three kids, and have had to endure both physical and emotional abuse. Once I was hospitalized after my husband hit me. We have gone to a frum therapist and even a rabbi several times, and my husband lied to them and denied everything. What do you suggest I do?


Answer:

We appreciate how much courage it must have taken to share this with us.  We are sorry to read about your difficult situation.

In your case, it is vital that you see a therapist by yourself, without your husband.  In private therapy sessions you would be able to sort out your own feelings and experiences in order to determine your next course of action.  You should not even tell your husband that you are going to therapy, to ensure that he does not disrupt the process or insinuate himself into it.

For recommendations of therapists and support in dealing with these matters, we suggest you contact one of the following two hotlines.  Both are strictly confidential and specialize in providing emotional support and professional-level advice for women in situations like yours:

In Israel – The Crisis Center for Religious Women, 02-673-0002, beeper service, 03-610-6666 #23912

In America – The Shalom Task Force, 1888-883-2323, 718-337-3700


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