Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Emotional connection

29 January, 2009

Question:

I understand that affection via pouring drinks, making beds, drawing baths, etc are forbidden – but can you provide other ways that a husband can show affection/not neglect his wife while in niddah? I completely understand the need for harchakot – but when it comes to my husband not paying attn to me – therefore making me unhappy and bitter – I find that a bigger danger to our shalom bayit. So for instance, are candle light dinners permissible? Personal cards? Flowers?


Answer:

We strongly agree that you and your husband should make greater efforts to work on your emotional connection while you are physically separated during the niddah period. However, while a card or flowers are nice gestures which are permitted while you are niddah, a candle-lit dinner or similar romantic, intimate, activities may be inappropriate since they may lead to a desire for intimacy. 

We recommend you read our article on this topic for further suggestions, as well as a pamphlet Et Lirchok (http://home.mayimrabim.com:443/etlirchok.html) which offers many tips on dealing with the emotional distance during niddah..

B'hatzlacha!


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