Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Relations while staining

2 May, 2014

Question:

I am nursing a 3 month old, and have not had a period yet, but lately I am staining a lot. I am not using hormonal birth control. Two weeks ago I had a bout of staining for few days, and now again. It's 1–2 stains a day, and by now it seems very unlikely that an actual period is coming. Should we still refrain from intercourse? I understand that stains on the husband's body are complex – but what if we specifically avoid looking, and just shower right after?


Answer:

Mazal tov on the birth of your baby!

Staining such as you describe is fairly common post-partum, especially when there are changes to the nursing schedule.

It is preferable to refrain from relations within a day of staining, in order to avoid questions such as those you raise.  Strictly speaking, however, having relations when a woman has staining that does not make her niddah is permitted.  

You may use your judgment to determine whether the staining is tapering off to the extent that you feel confident having relations. You should take the following precautions:

  • use colored sheets
  • if you plan to clean yourselves off afterwards, wait at least fifteen seconds after separating and use tissues or colored cloths
  • avoid looking

As you suggest, you can also shower right afterwards, without looking.

Please write back with any further questions.


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