Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

  • Hebrew
  • English
  • Espnaol
  • Francais
  • donate
Menu

Discretion about trying to conceive

6 October, 2014

Question:

My husband and I are trying to conceive and I am feeling a bit oppressed by the sense that I'm supposed to be "modest" about the whole matter… I know that it's just a matter of custom, but I want to understand and follow the "operating rules" of the Jewish community, to the extent possible…

For example, I want to ask questions of friends and mentors about pregnancy and having kids, but I feel that I shouldn't be telling them that we're trying to conceive?

Also, I seem to remember learning that you're not really supposed to announce your pregnancy until the beginning of the second trimester, and I'm a bit stressed out by that thought, since I would imagine that my mother and close friends might be offended that I would know for so long and not share the info?

Also, is there any concern about taking an international flight while in my 4th or 5th or 6th month?

Thanks:


Answer:

There is no halachic prohibition against discussing conception and pregnancy with mentors, friends or family. 

Some have the custom of waiting to announce a pregnancy until the second trimester when the risk of miscarriage is reduced, possibly to prevent ayin hara. Nevertheless, you certainly may share the good news earlier with family or close friends if you wish.

The concept of not discussing these topics with others is meant to protect your and your husband's privacy. However, if you feel more stressed by not being able to discuss this within your close circle of friends, family and mentors, then you should not hesitate to discuss these topics. Use your judgement to decide what is appropriate and who is comfortable (or not) with these discussions.

You should check with your doctor before flying during pregnancy, but in general a pregnant woman (up until the 9th month) may safely take an international flight.

We wish you much hatzlacha! 


This internet service does not preclude, override or replace the psak of any rabbinical authority. It is the responsibility of the questioner to inform us of any previous consultation or ruling. As even slight variation in circumstances may have Halachic consequences, views expressed concerning one case may not be applied to other, seemingly similar cases. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. Although every effort is made to ensure that the material within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is accurate and timely, it is provided for the convenience of the Web site user but should not be considered official. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional.

For further questions or comments: 

The Nishmat Women's Health and Halacha Site is a public service of Nishmat, The Jeanie Schottenstein Center for Advanced Torah Study for Women. This project and others like it are made possible by contributions from people like you. If you have benefited from the service, and wish to enable us to help others, click here to donate.


Users of Internet filtering services: This site discusses sensitive subjects that some services filter without visual indication. A page that appears 100% complete might actually be missing critical Jewish-law or medical information. To ensure that you view the pages accurately, ask the filtering service to whitelist all pages under yoatzot.org.


Accessibility Toolbar