18 November, 2015
I am nearing 40 and my husband is 50. We are married for almost 2 years and are desparately trying to have children.
I have a very irregular period. It seems I am always at the mikveh.
We have been to a fertility specialist, who put me on Clomid, of which I became resistant to. My husband has a low count / high abnormality ejaculate. We have tried insemination, but that has failed.
We really want to go back to the natural way, before we continue further with the IVF option. And it seems waiting the full 7 clean days does not fit in my reality. How flexible are the laws of family purity, and do I have the option of cutting the number of clean days in order to catch when it is optimal FOR ME to conceive?
At your age, natural attempts at conception often have low success rates. We therefore urge you to get the medical assistance available so that you may become pregnant B"H.
Please read our article on halachic infertility for more information about your condition. There are additional hormonal manipulations that can be used in addition to Clomid to delay ovulation.
If you are really ovulating before you go to the mikvah (or are spotting and becoming niddah frequently), you can have intrauterine insemination (IUI) done while niddah. (You do not indicate if you had AI or IUI done to this point) We suggest you speak to your doctor about this possibility before pursuing IVF. You can read more about the halachic issues in these procedures on our site, and may wish to refer your doctor to our app or website for medical professionals.
Halachically, you should make sure you are familiar with the laws of stains and take precautions to avoid becoming niddah from spotting. Remember that the hefsek taharah and bedikot of the clean days do not need to be completely clear, and ask a halachic question about any colors that are not clearly red. While the seven clean days may not be shortened, a specific question can be asked about reducing the five-day minimum to four days if that is relevant.
We wish you much hatzlacha, may you find yourself in a healthy pregnancy soon!
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