Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Disclosing one’s status

9 July, 2004

Question:

Could I ask a question that combines tsnius as well as menopause in it? In Kallah classes they taught us never to hand our husbands anything in public for tsnius reasons ? So no one should know where we're holding in our cycle. Of course, many pregnant ladies, once they start showing, do not have to be careful about this. Anyway, what about menopause? At some point ladies stop bleeding and go to the mikvah for the last time, right? At what point could THEY hand in public without worrying about watchful eyes on them?


Answer:

There is no halachic problem with handing an object to your husband in public when you are tehorah, even though it will "give away" your status. In fact, at the time of the gemara, everyone knew when a woman was niddah because she wore special clothes during this time. At all other times she was assumed to be tehorah. .

There is an issue of tzniut which applies specifically to mikveh night. Women should not unnecessarily publicize the fact that they are going to mikveh on a particular night.

The guidelines for public interactions between husband and wife are often a matter of custom (minhag) and not law. For example, in some communities married couples do not hold hands in public although the wife is tehorah, in others they do.

The harchakot, of course, apply during niddah both in public and in private.


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