17 January, 2005
I got married yesterday, and did not bleed at our first time, but was told that I still have the status of a niddah. I checked myself pretty thoroughly for blood and am positive that there was none there, so why do I have this status now? Even if there was some way outside chance that dam niddah could somehow be present, I'm on the pill and have been so for years to regulate my period, never once staining, ever, so in my mind there's really no possibility that dam niddah could be present, let alone dam betulim. So what gives? Why do I have this status?
Please respond as quickly as possible, and thanks so much for the work that you do.
Mazal tov on your wonderful news.
When a woman has intercourse for the first time, she takes on the status of a niddah whether she bleeds or not, as long as there was full penetration.
The decree of dam betulim was instituted because there is a chance that there was a drop of blood that went undetected, covered up by the semen. The nature of Halacha is that even if on a specific occasion a Rabbinic enactment does not seem to be relevant, we cannot abrogate it, and therefore even a woman who performs a clean bedikah immediately after first intercourse is not exempt. There is no question that this may be difficult, but then again, proper observance of taharat hamishpachah is a challenge that we can meet.
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