Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Harchakot when wife has left for mikveh

7 March, 2005


Although I understand that this site is intended for women, nevertheless I have a questions that I feel you are best equipped to respond to which applies to me as the husband.

During niddah we observe the restriction of me sitting and lying on my wife's bed, eating her leftovers, etc.

My question is: Once my wife is at the mikvah, are those restrictions lifted since the effect these behaviors may have will be permissible by the next time I see her? Or do I have to wait until she returns and tells me she toiveled?

It is my understanding that such actions as laying in her bed is forbidden as it may arouse erotic feelings that may result in difficulty keeping the laws of niddah. But if the next time I see my wife she will be tahor then there is no problem with the arousal of such feelings – to the contrary, perhaps it is helpful?

Your advice and feedback on this matter are greatly appreciated.


Although our site is primarily intended for women, we do answer men's questions regarding hilchot niddah.

The restrictions properly apply until the wife has immersed.  If something were to interfere with immersion, the arousal would be problematic.

However, in this age of mobile phones, your wife could call or text you as soon as she successfully immerses.  At that point, the restrictions would no longer apply.

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