Extended niddah, horrible timing
10 January, 2018
I really have a difficult situation and I don't know what to do. I became a niddah about two months ago during a difficult emotional time. Not that my husband and I were fighting, but we just really needed each other's support. I spotted for over three weeks and when I finally got to mikveh, I had to fly overseas leaving my husband behind. On the way home I became a niddah and if I am lucky I will have to wait another 12 days (but I doubt that since I have been spotting on and off).
The emotional and physical pressure is absolutely horrible. We are both miserable and really need each other. We just can't do this in this way. With the timing being absolutely the worst, the extra long periods, and the very difficult time we are both going through, this really is just impossible. We have been married for years and have kept taharas hamishpacha, but the combination of all of these things is horrible. What can we do?
We are sorry to hear of your very difficult situation.
We hope that you and your husband can discuss ways in which you can be supportive of each other at this challenging time, while continuing to honor your commitment to halachah. If there is some aspect of this with which we might be able to help, please write back to explain more.
Unfortunately, the twelve days cannot be shortened. However, we may be able to help you get to the mikveh on time and avoid becoming niddah again so quickly. As a first step, we recommend you read our articles "Stains" and "Toilet Paper". Then please feel free to get back to us with more details about your long periods and staining so that we can provide more targeted assistance.
We wish you and your husband strength getting through this time.
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