Blood after relations, before onot perishah
4 March, 2018
Last night, two days before my first onat perishah, my husband and I had relations. In the middle of intercourse my baby woke up. I went to the bathroom and wiped myself and saw a stain. We immediately separated from each other. What did I do wrong with the calculations? I've been married for 10 years and never experienced anything like that.
Not all stains will render a woman niddah.
Stains found on toilet paper may be disregarded as long as 15 seconds elapsed after urinating (or intercourse) before wiping. In a situation of doubt (you may have waited 15 seconds but are unsure) as long as you didn't wipe immediately after urination you may disregard the stain as well. Only if you are certain that you wiped within 15 seconds of urinating, and the stain was clearly reddish (or a problematic shade of medium/dark brown) would you be rendered niddah.
There is a specific halachic concern ("ro'ah machmat tashmish") that can arise when blood is found during or immediately after intercourse. Once some time has passed (opinions vary as to how much, but certainly the time it takes to go to the bathroom and wipe is sufficient), this concern does not apply.
We do recommend abstaining from intercourse for 24 hours after finding a stain so your status may be fully clarified.
You did nothing wrong, since at the time you engaged in intercourse you were tehorah and it was not an onat perishah. Pre-menstrual staining is not unusual and doesn't necessarily indicate any problem.
Going forward, we recommend taking precautions against becoming niddah from further staining by wearing colored underwear and waiting 15 seconds after urinating before wiping. After intercourse you should wait a few minutes before getting up, and don't look for any staining! Be sure to use colored towels or tissues to wipe yourselves and make sure your bed linens are colored as well.
Please feel free to get back to us with any further questions.
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