Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Non-observant husband

5 May, 2006


I have been married for a little over 5 years and although I was raised in a completely non-observant home, I have been trying to incorporate the laws of Kashrut, Shabbos and Taharat Hamishpaha into my family life. Throughout my efforts I have met continuous resistance from my husband who was also raised non-observant.

Since Taharat Hamishpaha is very important to me and yet it really requires both husband and wife to be in an agreement on observing these laws, I find myself being in a constant struggle during my 7 clean days to maintain abstinence. Please advise.


We are sorry to hear that the clean days have become such a struggle. Even if your husband is not ready to keep these laws out of a feeling of obligation to halacha, he could keep them out of his obligation to respect your needs and your desire to follow halacha.

If you have tried talking to your husband and he continues to disagree with you on these issues, then we recommend professional counseling to help come to some agreement. Perhaps a religious couples' counselor who is aware of the importance of halacha could help you resolve this issue.  Referrals are available at

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