Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Communication & timing

11 August, 2006


Shalom and thank you for this resource. First, please know that you and all Israelis are in the prayers of our community; we are saying many tehillim and are raising money for Israel.

Now, on to my questions. My wife and I are newly religious and have gotten more observant to the point where we are observing taharat hamishpacha. But my wife doesn't really talk to me about when she is going to the mikvah–she keeps it very private. Am I allowed to ask her when she is going, or do I just leave it up to her?

The second question is that my wife has so much going on because she has a very ill mother. Is she required to go to the mikvah on the first night that she is able to, or is it permissible for her to go later?

Thank you so much.


How open the wife wishes to be with her husband on all the details of observing taharat hamishpacha varies from community to community and from couple to couple.  However, it is standard practice for a wife to inform her husband in advance when she expects to immerse in the mikveh.  That way, the couple can make any appropriate arrangements or plans for that evening.  They can also prepare emotionally and spiritually for mikveh night. 

Ideally, your wife would immerse on time.  In chronic situations, there is often no one night that is clearly better than others.  However, should something specific make it very difficult for her to immerse, and should you both agree to it, she could immerse the following night.

This internet service does not preclude, override or replace the psak of any rabbinical authority. It is the responsibility of the questioner to inform us of any previous consultation or ruling. As even slight variation in circumstances may have Halachic consequences, views expressed concerning one case may not be applied to other, seemingly similar cases. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. Although every effort is made to ensure that the material within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is accurate and timely, it is provided for the convenience of the Web site user but should not be considered official. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional.

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