Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Spiritual steps for conception

27 November, 2006

Question:

My husband and I are having trouble conceiving. I remember from seminary a rabbi saying that if you are having trouble having a baby, you should pray for someone else that is also having trouble conceiving. Where could I get a list of names of women that would like a prayer said for them? Or, what rabbi could I contact to find out such a person?

Also, could you make any other suggestions for what to do (spiritually/religiously, not physically or medically) to help conception? ie are there certain prayers, rituals, etc?

Thank you very much, and thank you for this website!


Answer:

We are sorry to hear of your difficulties.

Chazal tell us, as your rabbi said, that sincerely praying for someone else will send an answer for your own prayers. The only problem is, most women with fertility issues are interested in keeping their problems private. Unless you personally know of someone having difficulty conceiving, this would be difficult information to gather.

Though praying for others could certainly help, there is no greater step you can take than praying for yourself. Asking God for what you need is the most basic activity. Spiritually, selfless acts of kindness (chesed, charity, giving of your own time and means) are similar to the idea of praying for others. Immersing yourself in giving would be a wonderful way of dealing with your spiritual needs, and can help emotionally as well, as you will divert your focus from your own problems.

You may also find it helpful to become involved with a support group for religious couples experiencing infertility. Please check our list of Fertility Resources for orgainzations that can help.

If you are not seeking medical attention, and you have been trying to conceive for over a year, we strongly suggest you explore this possibility. There is no contradiction between effort on a spiritual level and efforts on a practical level to the extent possible. On the contrary, these two actions should always complement each other. If you need advice on how to get started, please send us more information about the type of problem you are experiencing.

We wish you much hatzlacha, may you find yourself in a healthy pregnancy soon!


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