Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Domestic abuse

18 March, 2008


I’ve been married for about five years, with three kids, and have had to endure both physical and emotional abuse. Once I was hospitalized after my husband hit me. We have gone to a frum therapist and even a rabbi several times, and my husband lied to them and denied everything. What do you suggest I do?


We appreciate how much courage it must have taken to share this with us.  We are sorry to read about your difficult situation.

In your case, it is vital that you see a therapist by yourself, without your husband.  In private therapy sessions you would be able to sort out your own feelings and experiences in order to determine your next course of action.  You should not even tell your husband that you are going to therapy, to ensure that he does not disrupt the process or insinuate himself into it.

For recommendations of therapists and support in dealing with these matters, we suggest you contact one of the following two hotlines.  Both are strictly confidential and specialize in providing emotional support and professional-level advice for women in situations like yours:

In Israel – The Crisis Center for Religious Women, 02-673-0002, WhatsApp 052-8361202

In America – The Shalom Task Force, 1888-883-2323, 718-337-3700

This internet service does not preclude, override or replace the psak of any rabbinical authority. It is the responsibility of the questioner to inform us of any previous consultation or ruling. As even slight variation in circumstances may have Halachic consequences, views expressed concerning one case may not be applied to other, seemingly similar cases. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. Although every effort is made to ensure that the material within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is accurate and timely, it is provided for the convenience of the Web site user but should not be considered official. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional.

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