Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Relations on yom hachodesh

2 March, 2009
Question:

Hello, I just realized that we had relations on the Chodesh. Is this criminally bad, it certainly was not intentional…my calendar counting was off and when I looked in the morning to configure it all, I came to this startling fact and thought oyyy what have we done, so before I officially "freak out" I wanted to contact you.

Thanks as always


Answer:

We are sorry to hear of your mistake. 

The prohibition of relations on yom hachodesh is a rabbinic edict, which you violated inadvertently.  In this case, there is no further halachic step to be taken.  As they say, 'to err is human.'  Although this is a serious matter, and regret is appropriate, you are not required to 'freak out,' officially or unofficially. 

Instead, we suggest that you perform an act of teshuvah, such as giving tzedakah, and that you take steps to ensure that from now on veset calculations are made and noted on your calendar well in advance of mikveh immersion. 

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