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Expelling semen after relations

18 November, 2009
Question:

Hi,

My husband and I have been married for nearly a year and a half and we have yet to get pregnant. We try to have relations on a regular basis when I am tahor. I am concerned that I am expelling semen after intercourse. Is it normal for this to happen? Is there any way of preventing it? Could it be hindering us from getting pregnant?  I realize that “all it takes is one” to get pregnant, but doesn’t this lower our chances? As well, we are concerned about the spiritual ramifications of shichvat zera l’vatala as all this semen gets seemingly wasted.

Thanks in advance for your advice.


Answer:

It is completely normal for a woman to expel some semen after relations. This in no way violates the prohibition of hotza’at zera l’vatalah, since the semen was not “wasted,” but ejaculated into the vagina during the course of normal relations. As you pointed out, “all it takes is one” – semen expelled after intercourse should not reduce your chances of pregnancy and certainly is not considered “spilled seed.”

Some do recommend lying down with your hips elevated for 20 minutes after relations as it may be more conducive to conception. However, this has not been proven and it is unlikely that this factor alone would hinder you from getting pregnant.

While it is normal to take up to a year to get pregnant even under ideal circumstances, with newlyweds it may take even longer since in the beginning of the marriage it can take time to figure out the workings of intercourse. Nevertheless, if you are concerned, it would not be inappropriate at this stage to speak to your gynecologist about your concerns and possibly do an initial fertility workup. You may also find it helpful to arrange a free consultation with a Yoetzet Halacha Fertility Counselor, details here.

Please feel free to get back to us with any further questions.

B’Hatzlacha!

This response was updated on 4 June, 2021.

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