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Dam betulim after medical exams

1 May, 2011
Question:

Hi,

I'm engaged to be married in a few weeks and I had a question about the wedding night.

I have previously had medical examinations that required entering the vagina (like a transvaginal ultrasound) and subsequently have to frequently "check" just to make sure nothing is abnormal. (Nothing is abnormal, nor has anything ever been abnormal thank god, but just because of family history, my doctor told me she would like me to check frequently just to be sure.)

In addition to all this, and having led a fairly active lifestyle, I'm almost positive I don't have a hymen. I have no problems with any of the internal exams aside from general discomfort.

I just wanted to know if dam betulim would apply to me, because of these factors. I know technically even a virgin who doesn't bleed is still considered one, but given my experience and the amount of penetration from non–sexual things, I'm just curious if there is a way around that. I care very much about halacha and want to keep it the best I can, but at the same time, if I don't have a hymen, I don't understand how this should apply.

Thank you very much.


Answer:

Mazal tov on your upcoming wedding!

It is not sufficient to assume based on your medical history that you do not have a hymen. However, if your physician is certain through examination that you have no remnants of a hymen or chance of hymeneal bleeding, and that the absence of the hymen is partially attributable to trauma from the frequent examinations, then you would not become a niddah automatically the first time you have relations.

If this is the case, you should nevertheless perform an internal bedikah after the first intercourse to establish firmly that in fact no bleeding occurred.

We would also suggest refraining from physical contact in public so that the situation remains private.

If you do have some remnants of a hymen, the usual rules of dam betulim apply.

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