Worries about early ovulation
19 September, 2012
My mikva night is set for tomorrow night and my ovulation date, according to my calendar, is today. We are trying to conceive – and how is that possible if we cannot have relations on my fertile days before ovulation? Typically my period lasts 5–6 days and mikva night is right before ovulation. But lately it hasn’t been working out. Any advice?
Also, I am pretty preoccupied in thought about the proper time to conceive, and I’m always checking for signs of pregnancy. It’s making me rather crazy, and I have no reason to be as we have no medical issues and have only been trying after going off Loestrin three months ago. However, since I am preoccupied, having relations is forced for me and all I can think about is if it’s going to work this time….forget about trying to enjoy myself.
Especially since my ovulation works out after mikva, it gives me another reason to worry.
Thank you for your guidance.
We empathize with the concern and stress you are feeling at this time. It is normal to take a few months for your cycle to regulate after going off the pill. It is possible that your cycles and ovulation date will readjust on their own. At this point, you should just make sure you are getting to mikveh as soon as you can. The hefsek taharah need not be totally clear – there are many shades of brown that are acceptable. You should perform a hefsek taharah as soon as the bleeding is no longer reddish, and bring any stained bedikot to a halachic authority for evaluation.
You state that your calendar indicates ovulation a day before mikveh. We recommend confirming this timing. To start with, you can use over-the-counter ovulation kits available at the pharmacy, or try some of the techniques of the Fertility Awareness Method. If you confirm that you are consistently ovulating before immersion, the next step is to use some form of medical intervention. Please see our article on ovulation before immersion for more information.
Even under the best of circumstances it is normal to take up to a year to conceive. For couples over 35, we recommend seeking medical advice after six months.
We empathize with your situation and the stress it is causing you. Taking the steps above, and taking this day by day, should help.
It sounds as though your worries have begun to detract from marital relations. Relaxation exercises and renewed focus on enjoying intimacy with your spouse might prove helpful here in reducing stress, strengthening your marital relationship, and even enhancing fertility.
As you work through this, you may also find it helpful to consult a Yoetzet Halacha Fertility Counselor. (This is a free service, details here.)
We wish you much hatzlacha!
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