Relations while spotting
29 October, 2015
I got married about a year ago and B"H got pregnant right away. After the birth I had a lot of spotting after my period. I got an internal examination and it was discovered that I had a small tear on my cervix (which was probably from the birth).
My husband has been working out of town and comes home for Shabbos. I did a bedikah for my interval last Monday and but haven't done the other bedikahs (which aren't until rosh chodesh). On Friday I think I saw possible spotting on toilet paper but didn't pay close attention to it. My husband and I were together on Shabbos. I didn't know if I should have performed a bedikah if it wasn't the designated days. I am worried that we were together when it wasn't allowed. I noticed some more blood on toilet paper today on Sunday. I think my period is coming soon. Please advise.
Mazal tov on the birth of your baby!
It can be challenging to return to hilchot niddah in cases such as yours, where there has not been much time to gain experience.
A woman is not required to perform bedikot outside of the designated days, and it is usually not advised without prior consultation with a halachic authority.
When a woman has staining that does not make her niddah, she is strictly speaking permitted to have relations. In such cases, we usually advise abstaining from relations for twenty-four hours, by which time staining has often ended or developed into a flow. This is a precaution against having a flow begin during relations, but not a halachic requirement. In your case, there is the additional possible lenient factor of the cervical tear.
Based on what you write, you understood yourself to be possibly spotting but not in niddah when you had relations. In such a case, we would have advised abstention as above, but would not consider you to have violated halacha.
It is important to note that there is a range of opinions on the niddah status of a woman who sees spotting on toilet paper. For more information in evaluating what you saw on paper, please see our site's article "Toilet Paper." Then please reply with any follow up questions.
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