IVF for a boy after five girls?
16 November, 2015
We have 5 girls and my husband and I want a boy in order to fulfill the mitsvah of pru urbu. I refuse to try again because I emotionally can not handle having another girl, with my fifth girl I cried the whole pregnancy and I was afraid to give birth because I was so upset, so I don't want to go through that again, I just can't. Besides, we can't afford to have so many more kids with the costs of yeshivah. My husband is even worried about how he will be able to support a sixth child. I want to do IVF to determine the sex of the baby, but my husband and I are afraid that it might not be halachicly permissible. We went to a consultation with a jewish doctor, and he told us that he had a religious couple that had six girls and he asked hacham Ovadia Yosef ztz"l for them when he went to Israel , and that he told him that it's not asur. Please help us decide.
There is no halachic obligation to undergo IVF (with Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis for gender selection) in order to fulfill the mitzvah of pru u'rvu. If you feel that you are physically, emotionally, and financially unprepared for another child, you are not required to keep trying in order to have a son, which in normal circumstances is beyond your control.
Aside from any moral or halachic issues with PGD for gender selection, undergoing IVF is expensive and is not always successful. The procedure is often physically and emotionally demanding. We do not recommend undergoing IVF with PGD for gender selection unless there are medical or other serious issues involved.
If you would still like to move forward with IVF/PGD, we suggest that you begin by reading through some background information on PGD for gender selection and halacha. If you then would like a personal ruling, please get back to us, or contact Machon Puah, an organization that specializes in the area of fertility and halacha.
J. B. Wolowelsky and R. V. Grazi, "Sex selection and halachic ethics:a contemporary discussion" Tradition 2007; 40:1, pp.45-52. The article is followed by a discussion on that topic from K. Brander, B. Freundel, M. Friedman, J. Goldberg, B. Greenberger, F. Kaplan, E. Reichman, and D. R. Zimmerman, pp. 53-78.
Additional reading on this topic can be found in J. A. Klug, A boy or a girl? The ethics of preconception gender selection, Journal of Halacha and Contemporary Society 2004; 48:5-27.
Please feel free to get back to us with any further questions.
This internet service does not preclude, override or replace the psak of any rabbinical authority. It is the responsibility of the questioner to inform us of any previous consultation or ruling. As even slight variation in circumstances may have Halachic consequences, views expressed concerning one case may not be applied to other, seemingly similar cases. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. Although every effort is made to ensure that the material within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is accurate and timely, it is provided for the convenience of the Web site user but should not be considered official. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional.
For further questions or comments:
The Nishmat Women's Health and Halacha Site is a public service of Nishmat, The Jeanie Schottenstein Center for Advanced Torah Study for Women. This project and others like it are made possible by contributions from people like you. If you have benefited from the service, and wish to enable us to help others, click here to donate.
Users of Internet filtering services: This site discusses sensitive subjects that some services filter without visual indication. A page that appears 100% complete might actually be missing critical Jewish-law or medical information. To ensure that you view the pages accurately, ask the filtering service to whitelist all pages under yoatzot.org.