Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

  • Hebrew
  • English
  • Espnaol
  • Francais
  • donate
Side Bar

Separate rooms during niddah?

25 November, 2015


I am currently teaching a Kallah, and she asked me whether it was permissible for a husband and wife to sleep in separate rooms while she is niddah. She said that she thought it would be best that way – in terms of controlling temptation – but her mother told her it was not allowed.

Later in the conversation she said that she and her fiance had bought one queen sized bed, and there was no room in their future bedroom for anything else, which was another reason why she thought that sleeping in separate rooms was a good idea.

I told her that I did not think there was anything halachically wrong with it, but that it might not be the best thing for their marriage overall.

Should I advise her to return the queen and buy two twins until they get a bigger room/house? What are your thoughts? Is there anything halachically wrong with sleeping in separate rooms?

Thank you for the service you provide.


It is permissible for the couple to sleep in separate rooms.  However, like you, we would discourage a kallah from planning to do so.

That halacha permits yichud even during niddah indicates that there are certain basic levels of intimacy that do continue even during niddah.  In addition, this heter is founded upon an expectation that husband and wife will rise to the challenge of maintaining halacha even in their room at night alone.  We suggest encouraging your kallah to rise to that challenge and not to give up on the intimacy of sharing a room when it is permitted.  They could purchase twin beds, perhaps with a bed doubler if they are sensitive to the crack in between them.

It might help her for you to put the challenge of sexual temptation in perspective alongside the other temptations to sin that we experience and overcome and to present harchakot as the appropriate (and sufficient) tools developed by our Sages to overcome this particular challenge.  Behatzlachah!

This internet service does not preclude, override or replace the psak of any rabbinical authority. It is the responsibility of the questioner to inform us of any previous consultation or ruling. As even slight variation in circumstances may have Halachic consequences, views expressed concerning one case may not be applied to other, seemingly similar cases. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. Although every effort is made to ensure that the material within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is accurate and timely, it is provided for the convenience of the Web site user but should not be considered official. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional.

For further questions or comments: 

The Nishmat Women's Health and Halacha Site is a public service of Nishmat, The Jeanie Schottenstein Center for Advanced Torah Study for Women. This project and others like it are made possible by contributions from people like you. If you have benefited from the service, and wish to enable us to help others, click here to donate.

Users of Internet filtering services: This site discusses sensitive subjects that some services filter without visual indication. A page that appears 100% complete might actually be missing critical Jewish-law or medical information. To ensure that you view the pages accurately, ask the filtering service to whitelist all pages under

Accessibility Toolbar