Blood after relations
25 January, 2016
I am nursing a 23 month old and have a Mirena IUD. My periods have recently returned, more or less – usually light and not super regular, though approximately every 4.5 weeks. I've also had intermittent spotting since the Mirena was inserted, usually not of halachic consequence.
Recently my husband wiped himself with white tissues after relations (I know this was not ideal but, well, he forgets…). I saw the tissue in the garbage and it looked somewhat pink/red. (I ended up keeping the tissue but I don't think its redness is really a question…). I ended up getting what seems to be my period (i.e. lighter than my non–Mirena period but heavier than normal staining) a day or two later.
I never did the bedikot after intercourse (was not recommended by my advisers). Is there a roah mahmat tashmish concern here and if so how should we proceed?
When a woman finds blood after intercourse, but it is around the time she expects her period (even if not on an onah), she still becomes niddah from the blood found, but need not be concerned about roah machmat tashmish. The blood may be attributed to her upcoming period and is not considered to have been caused by intercourse. When blood is found at a time when she does not expect her period, then there is a concern that intercourse may bring on menstruation. Since you got your period a couple of days after this incident, you may attribute the blood found on the tissue to your period and you don't have to be concerned about roah machmat tashmish.
Going forward, you should take precautions against finding blood after intercourse. Wait a few minutes before getting up and/or wiping or cleaning yourselves. Do not look for any staining and be sure to use (colored) tissues or a colored towel to wipe yourselves. Make sure your bedding is colored as well. Be sure to wait 15 seconds after urinating and don't look down while on the toilet so you don't accidentally see any stains/blood exiting your body.
Additionally, we recommend abstaining for 24 hours after staining so your status may be fully clarified. If staining is erratic, you can check externally for any staining (by wiping with a tissue, not immediately after urinating) prior to intimacy. If the tissue is clear, go ahead with intercourse. If it is stained, you are not rendered niddah, but should wait another 6-12 hours before trying again.
Please feel free to get back to us with any further questions.
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