Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Too embarrassed to ask questions

18 January, 2017


Hello, so I'm in quite a pickle.

I have been married for just over a year and as soon as I got married, and encountered my first niddah and I had a question, my husband just felt too embarrassed to take it to a rabbi. I soon after got pregnant and all that awkwardness got forgotten. I gave birth three months ago, and now we are back in the exact same position we were in a year ago. But what's worse, is that now I want to go on to contraception and my husband is to embarrassed to ask, so we are not being intimate, and not sure what to do.


Mazal tov on the recent birth of your baby!

You may follow the ruling of R' Yehuda Henkin, the rabbinic supervisor of this site, who permits birth control for two years after birth to allow the mother to recuperate and care for her baby. See our article on choosing a contraceptive method for descriptions of halachically acceptable methods of birth control and work with your doctor to choose the right method for you.

Going forward, it is important to try to find a rabbi (or yoetzet halacha) whom you feel comfortable approaching, even if your husband is too embarrassed to ask himself.

Please feel free to get back to us with any further questions.

This internet service does not preclude, override or replace the psak of any rabbinical authority. It is the responsibility of the questioner to inform us of any previous consultation or ruling. As even slight variation in circumstances may have Halachic consequences, views expressed concerning one case may not be applied to other, seemingly similar cases. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. Although every effort is made to ensure that the material within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is accurate and timely, it is provided for the convenience of the Web site user but should not be considered official. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional.

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