Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Date while niddah

2 February, 2003
Question:

Is it ok to go on a “date” with my husband when I am niddah? Can we go out for coffee or dinner, or to a movie, or for a walk at night in the park? Do we need to do anything differently? I know it is better when I’m not niddah, but with kids and business trips and work deadlines that’s not always possible. Thank you.


Answer:

With today’s hectic lifestyle, it is important for husband and wife to find time for each other. Especially during the time when physical expressions of love of communication are off-limits, the couple need to find ways to nurture their relationship and share positive experiences, while still being true to the letter and spirit of the halacha.

As long as you follow the laws of harchakot and refrain from activities or conversation that may be inappropriately provocative or romantic, then a date-night may be a wonderful way to connect and enjoy each other’s company while the wife is niddah. The exact parameters of what is appropriate may vary from couple to couple, and it is important for both husband and wife to communicate regarding boundaries and be open and sensitive to one another’s needs.  Sources do mention walks in secluded areas as potentially overly arousing, and a romantic movie may also be too intimate.  Awareness, common-sense, and mutual consideration should guide you in choosing suitable venues and activities.

Updated 6 August, 2023.

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