Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Kiddush

2 February, 2003
Question:

I am very confused about the rules with drinking leftovers and sending a cup of wine. Could you please explain the proper procedure for making kiddush when the wife is niddah (where the husband makes kiddush and she drinks some of the wine).


Answer:

Harchakot are intended to minimize the couple’s sense of physical intimacy while the wife is niddah. Of course, not all couples (or individuals) experience the same emotional response to any given activity. However, halacha restricts certain behaviors even if a particular couple feels that they have no effect on them.

Proscribed behaviors during meals that affect sharing kiddush wine include: passing items, pouring wine or festive beverages specifically for one another, sharing the same cup or plate, the husband drinking the wife’s leftovers, and the husband sending “a cup of blessing” to his wife. Therefore, when the two of you are alone, the simplest procedure is for your husband to put the kiddush cup down in front of him after drinking and for you then to take it and drink from it. He may not drink any leftover wine directly from that cup after you drank from it. Alternatively, you may take the kiddush cup after he puts it down in front of him and pour some wine for yourself into your own cup.

If you are in the presence of others, another option is for you or your husband to pour the kiddush wine into several little cups and then for you to take one.  He should be sure not to designate a specific cup of wine for you.

Updated 10 August, 2023.

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