Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Niddah at wedding

21 July, 2003


I was married recently and although things are much better, I still feel some resentment.
Although my chassan and I had carefully planned and were using birth control pills, I got my period just days before my wedding.
This initially caused enormous stress and difficulty (where we would live, not knowing how long the separation would last). Fortunately, we stayed with friends who provided us their home at very short notice. Neither my husband nor I could even tell our families because we are both newly frum
Even now I look at the wedding pictures and feel some anger over this.
My question is this…was it some sort of punishment we went through this? We laugh about it now, but at that moment it was the worst feeling in the world.


It is beyond us to decide why things happen. A nice thought that I once heard from a couple who had been in this situation is to think that you actually had two weddings – your public wedding (that's the one with the pictures) and your private wedding (when you were no longer niddah).

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