Dam betulim questions
25 September, 2003
I have several questions about dam betulim:
1) I have heard that the rules for seeing blood of dam betulim are stricter than those for stains (meaning, seeing blood after initial intercourse could be a problem even on colored sheets or paper tissue). Is this true?
2) Can you be required to keep dam betulim more than once, say, if you see blood after first and second intercourse? What about first and third, but not second?
3) I saw that if you see blood after partial penetration, this is dam betulim. The next time such a couple would have sex, and achieve full penetration (for the first time), would she be a nidda again, even if she did not see blood?
Thank you for reaching out to us. We will try to answer your questions separately.
- Yes, the halachot of dam betulim are in some ways stricter than the laws of stains: After first-time intercourse, stains from hymenal bleeding that are found on colored sheets or tissues are not treated leniently and the kallah becomes niddah nonetheless.
- It is possible for a woman to become niddah again from dam betulim after second-time intercourse or even beyond, if she experiences a flow of blood afterwards, or if they find a stain that makes the woman niddah according to the laws of stains. It is not uncommon for the hymen to bleed more, and therefore in order to avoid repeatedly becoming niddah, we strongly recommend that a couple avoid looking for any stains after intercourse and use darkly colored towels and bedding. There is no obligation to check for any bleeding. If on one occasion no bleeding is found after intercourse, then dam betulim is no longer a halachic factor. However, because it is advisable to avoid looking for blood, often it is difficult to know whether there was bleeding or not.
- If during first-time intercourse there was only partial penetration, but blood was found afterwards, it is usually attributed to dam betulim, and the couple have to separate. Subsequently, even if there was full penetration, we do not assume there was further bleeding if none was discovered, and the couple remain permitted to one another.
Please see the article on dam betulim for more information and explanations.
Updated 24 August, 2023
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