Staining, veset, and five days

Before my recent marriage, I somewhat regularly, but not always, stained (definately larger than a gris) a couple of days before really beginning my period. In the intervening days (usually 2-4 days) there was no staining. When I asked my Kallah teacher about this, she advised not to use a tampon, or look at toilet paper, if this happened, but to wait until I really needed protection, otherwise I would be niddah for longer than necessary. I took a few days of progesterone before the wedding to shift my period back and I think this altered my usual menstrual pattern. My first two periods since my marriage, I didn’t have this premenstrual staining ( or at least I wasn’t aware of it). So when I saw a stain on toilet paper on a day of perishah, before my third period, I assumed that I had started my period right on time, and inserted a tampon, before shkiah, so that we could count that day as day 1. However, this time, it seems that this initial staining was premenstrual, as the next two days were free of staining, and I didn’t really begin menstruating until daytime of day 4 (halachically). We conducted ourselves assuming that I was niddah, as there was staining on the tampon from day 1.
I have two questions.
1) What do I count as day 1 of menstruation for the purpose of counting next month’s veset? The day I became niddah because of seeing the premenstrual staining, or the day I really started menstruating?
2) How do I differentiate between premenstrual staining and the beginning of menstruation, as the first day of my period now is not very different from the premenstrual staining?
Thank you

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