Disclosing one’s status
9 July, 2004
Could I ask a question that combines tsnius as well as menopause in it? In Kallah classes they taught us never to hand our husbands anything in public for tsnius reasons ? So no one should know where we're holding in our cycle. Of course, many pregnant ladies, once they start showing, do not have to be careful about this. Anyway, what about menopause? At some point ladies stop bleeding and go to the mikvah for the last time, right? At what point could THEY hand in public without worrying about watchful eyes on them?
There is no halachic problem with handing an object to your husband in public when you are tehorah, even though it will "give away" your status. In fact, at the time of the gemara, everyone knew when a woman was niddah because she wore special clothes during this time. At all other times she was assumed to be tehorah. .
There is an issue of tzniut which applies specifically to mikveh night. Women should not unnecessarily publicize the fact that they are going to mikveh on a particular night.
The guidelines for public interactions between husband and wife are often a matter of custom (minhag) and not law. For example, in some communities married couples do not hold hands in public although the wife is tehorah, in others they do.
The harchakot, of course, apply during niddah both in public and in private.
This internet service does not preclude, override or replace the psak of any rabbinical authority. It is the responsibility of the questioner to inform us of any previous consultation or ruling. As even slight variation in circumstances may have Halachic consequences, views expressed concerning one case may not be applied to other, seemingly similar cases. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. Although every effort is made to ensure that the material within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is accurate and timely, it is provided for the convenience of the Web site user but should not be considered official. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional.
For further questions or comments:
The Nishmat Women's Health and Halacha Site is a public service of Nishmat, The Jeanie Schottenstein Center for Advanced Torah Study for Women. This project and others like it are made possible by contributions from people like you. If you have benefited from the service, and wish to enable us to help others, click here to donate.
Users of Internet filtering services: This site discusses sensitive subjects that some services filter without visual indication. A page that appears 100% complete might actually be missing critical Jewish-law or medical information. To ensure that you view the pages accurately, ask the filtering service to whitelist all pages under yoatzot.org.