Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Friday night concerns

27 October, 2004


It looks like I'm going to have to go to the mikvah Friday night. I have a few concerns:

1. I have long, very curly hair. At the best of times, it gets caught and knotted, even when it's dry and tied back. When it's wet, it's pretty unmanageable. How do I make sure it won't be a problem for tvila? Can I brush my hair at the mikvah first?
2. Also, I am usually in shul Friday night, and my absence may be noticed (especially if my husband is there but I'm not). What's the best way to avoid this problem, so that he isn't put in the position of having to answer uncomfortable questions from people who mean well?
3. Can I "pre-pay" for the mikvah, so I don't have to go back afterwards? I hate the idea of owing them money (especially if this is likely to repeat itself every month!), as I'm concerned we may not pay as promptly as we should.


1. Try tying it back with a series of elastics. This generally prevents knots. Also, try using conditioner (rinse it out well) as this may also decrease the knots and tangles. You can separate strands of hair by hand at the mikveh or use a soft brush, avoiding pulling out hairs.

2. Come up with an excuse in advance such as you did not feel well or you got home late and needed to collapse,(understandable on such short Fridays). Just know what he will say so you are consistent in your stories. Not being perfectly truthful is permissible in these circumstances.

3. There should be no problem to pay in advance – just contact your local mikveh lady and ask how to arrange (mail it in, bring it over etc).

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