Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

  • Hebrew
  • English
  • Espnaol
  • Francais
Menu

Divorced, tehorah, and dating

We appreciate the sensitive nature of this question.

Technically, it is not prohibited for you to have physical contact with those whom you date. However, it is customary and strongly recommended to observe negi’ah until marriage.

There is no clear-cut halachic standard for what would or would not be permissible in this case. Since some halachic decisors distinguish in some circumstances between sexually affectionate touch and other touch; that might be a standard to consider. Whatever you work out, we recommend trying to decide in advance on your red lines, in order to prevent uncomfortable situations.

Please let us know if we can be of further assistance.


Divorced, tehorah, and dating

2 July, 2021

Question:

I am a divorcee and I was divorced after I hit menopause. I went to the mivkah after my last period and have not had a period or even spotting since, so I assume I am still tehorah. I have recently entered the dating scene and I was wondering whether I am allowed to touch my potential partner at all since I am considered tehorah and what limits apply. (Of course we still cannot be in Yichud.)
Thank you!


Answer:

We appreciate the sensitive nature of this question.

Technically, it is not prohibited for you to have physical contact with those whom you date. However, it is customary and strongly recommended to observe negi’ah until marriage.

There is no clear-cut halachic standard for what would or would not be permissible in this case. Since some halachic decisors distinguish in some circumstances between sexually affectionate touch and other touch; that might be a standard to consider. Whatever you work out, we recommend trying to decide in advance on your red lines, in order to prevent uncomfortable situations.

Please let us know if we can be of further assistance.


This internet service does not preclude, override or replace the psak of any rabbinical authority. It is the responsibility of the questioner to inform us of any previous consultation or ruling. As even slight variation in circumstances may have Halachic consequences, views expressed concerning one case may not be applied to other, seemingly similar cases. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. Although every effort is made to ensure that the material within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is accurate and timely, it is provided for the convenience of the Web site user but should not be considered official. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional.

For further questions or comments: 

The Nishmat Women's Health and Halacha Site is a public service of Nishmat, The Jeanie Schottenstein Center for Advanced Torah Study for Women. This project and others like it are made possible by contributions from people like you. If you have benefited from the service, and wish to enable us to help others, click here to donate.


Users of Internet filtering services: This site discusses sensitive subjects that some services filter without visual indication. A page that appears 100% complete might actually be missing critical Jewish-law or medical information. To ensure that you view the pages accurately, ask the filtering service to whitelist all pages under yoatzot.org.


Accessibility Toolbar