Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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I need to use a dilator to treat vaginismus. What if I find blood on it?

28 May, 2023
Question:

I was recently diagnosed with vaginismus. It makes sense as intercourse has been difficult for us over the 2 years I’ve been married. I was told to start using a vaginal dilator as treatment. I have not started yet, but will soon.

What if there’s a red color or spot when I take it out? Does that make me a niddah if i’m tehorah? Would it invalidate shiva nekiim?

The thought is giving me a lot of anxiety. I’m not sure I can bring myself to use this treatment if it may suddenly make me a niddah.


Answer:

Thank you for reaching out to us. We appreciate your anxiety about suddenly becoming niddah.

You can take precautions to avoid finding problematic staining on the dilator. When you are tehorah, you should remove the dilator without looking at it and immediately wash it off without looking. It may be easiest to accomplish this in a darkened room.

During the shivah neki’im, you should perform your bedikah before using the dilator. When you perform a bedikah beforehand, it is permissible to avoid looking at the dilator, as above, even during shivah neki’im.

We hope that being careful with these precautions will enable you to begin treatment with confidence. For your sake and for your marriage’s sake, you deserve to be pain-free and have a pleasurable sex life.

Please don’t hesitate to get back to us with any further questions.

We wish you a successful treatment and a refuah shleimah!

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