Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

  • Hebrew
  • English
  • Espnaol
  • Francais
  • donate

Kallah: Anticipating discomfort with bedikot

26 January, 2023


My daughter is a Kallah–getting married IY”H in a few months.
She has always had difficulty with inserting tampons due to discomfort. Would it be permissible for her to use a lubricant with the Bedikah cloths?


Mazal tov on your daughter’s wedding!

When doing bedikot, your daughter should be as gentle as possible, and only insert her finger to a depth that is comfortable, ideally to the first knuckle. She should focus on checking the circumference of the vaginal canal, rotating her finger once to check the crevices and folds. In addition, she should try to obtain the extra-soft bedikah cloths (there are some that resemble T-shirt material). If she still has difficulty, she may dampen the cloth slightly with water, or apply a small amount of water-based lubricant to the vagina a few minutes before the bedikah.

It is common for virgin brides to experience some discomfort while doing the initial bedikot. However, if she has extreme discomfort while inserting tampons or doing bedikot, we recommend that she consult a gynecologist to rule out any conditions  that might affect sexual intimacy (see our article here).

Please contact us, or encourage your daughter to contact us, if we can be of further assistance.

This internet service does not preclude, override or replace the psak of any rabbinical authority. It is the responsibility of the questioner to inform us of any previous consultation or ruling. As even slight variation in circumstances may have Halachic consequences, views expressed concerning one case may not be applied to other, seemingly similar cases. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. Although every effort is made to ensure that the material within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is accurate and timely, it is provided for the convenience of the Web site user but should not be considered official. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional.

For further questions or comments: 

The Nishmat Women's Health and Halacha Site is a public service of Nishmat, The Jeanie Schottenstein Center for Advanced Torah Study for Women. This project and others like it are made possible by contributions from people like you. If you have benefited from the service, and wish to enable us to help others, click here to donate.

Users of Internet filtering services: This site discusses sensitive subjects that some services filter without visual indication. A page that appears 100% complete might actually be missing critical Jewish-law or medical information. To ensure that you view the pages accurately, ask the filtering service to whitelist all pages under

Accessibility Toolbar