Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Lack of desire postpartum

15 September, 2022

Question:

Thank you for this website. It has lots of helpful information.

I gave birth about 2 months ago. I would like to get to mikveh as soon as possible, because I find keeping the harchakot postpartum very difficult. However, I’m not interested in relations yet. In fact, after giving birth, relations are the last thing on my mind. My libido is on a negative level (I am not kidding!).

Are my feeling regarding this area of my life postpartum normal? Is it ok to go to mikveh just so we don’t have to observe harchakot? I know that with time I will desire relations, but I’m not ready yet.


Answer:

Thank you for reaching out to us. Mazal tov on the recent birth of your baby!

It is totally normal for a woman to be interested in stopping the harchakot and engaging in light affectionate touch shortly after giving birth, but to need longer to be ready for sexual intimacy.

Halachically, it is fully permissible to immerse just for the purpose of physical contact other than relations because this is considered a mitzvah as well (Shach YD 197:3). The couple are still expected to be careful regarding hotza’at zera levatalah (spilling of seed).

Please let us know if we can be of further assistance.


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