Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Not ready for parenthood

6 May, 2019


Six months ago, my husband and I were new college graduates looking for work. We asked through this site whether it would be permissible for me to take birth control pills while we did not have an income. We received a ruling was that it would be acceptable to use birth control until the circumstances changed.

Now that we are both employed, my assumption is that it would no longer be permissible for me to take birth control, but my husband does not agree. He thinks that it would still be halachically permissible because we are young (mid-twenties), and because he does not feel ready to be a parent at this time. I feel that Hashem will decide when we are ready, and that it’s not up to us to try to control something like that without a really good reason.

So my question is the following: is being young and feeling unready for parenthood a halachically acceptable reason to continue taking birth control pills? What should I do if my husband insists that I continue taking it?

Thank you so much for your help.


We are happy to hear that you are both now employed.

Not feeling ready is not in and of itself halachic grounds for contraceptive use. However, we understand that your husband may have concerns that you cannot articulate for him. We suggest at this stage that you ask your husband to seek a halachic ruling with you, if not here then with a mutually agreed upon posek to whom he might be comfortable voicing his concerns.

B’hatzlacha, and please feel free to get back to us with any further questions.

This internet service does not preclude, override or replace the psak of any rabbinical authority. It is the responsibility of the questioner to inform us of any previous consultation or ruling. As even slight variation in circumstances may have Halachic consequences, views expressed concerning one case may not be applied to other, seemingly similar cases. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. Although every effort is made to ensure that the material within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is accurate and timely, it is provided for the convenience of the Web site user but should not be considered official. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional.

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