Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Overdoing and second-guessing mikveh preparations

30 October, 2022

Question:

I would like to know how I can bring the Simcha back into Mikvah night. I am always so stressed out. I have a list of everything. I think maybe I didn’t do it right. I also overdo things that I need to do. I have to tell myself to stop when I know I’m being extreme and it’s a real internal fight. Please help.


Answer:

Thank you for reaching out to us.

We are sorry to hear that mikveh night has become so stressful for you.

If we understand you correctly, the stress results from your second-guessing and overdoing preparations. Unfortunately, this experience is fairly common. Too many women are aware of the halachic significance of immersion, but were never taught that many stringencies have been built into the laws of preparing for immersion, so that there is no need to go overdo anything. Performing extreme preparations is absolutely unnecessary.

Your recognizing the issue and seeking help from us is a tremendous first step in addressing it. Our article here is designed for women who struggle to trust themselves regarding the laws of niddah. It includes a number of resources and practical suggestions that may prove helpful to you.

Please take a look, and please don’t hesitate to follow up.


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