Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

  • Hebrew
  • English
  • Espnaol
  • Francais
  • donate

Resources for reluctant husband

15 May, 2019


I got married a few weeks ago. Both my husband and I are not so religious, however, I wanted to go to the Mikvah. My husband wasn’t so thrilled about it and doesn’t understand why we need to go and why we need to wait. I have been searching online for somewhere to explain why women go to the Mikveh, what it does for the home and marriage, but I haven’t found one article explaining why. Can you point me in a direction or help me convince my husband why it is so important that out of all the laws that we keep, this is something for both of us that is necessary for the marriage?

Thank you very much!


Mazal tov on your recent wedding!

We honor your intention to observe the halachot of mikveh immersion. As you have already realized, it is of utmost importance for your husband to be able to understand what you are trying to do and why.

There are numerous writings concerning these laws. Without knowing your husband, it is difficult to know what to recommend. One book that you might consider is Total Immersion. It is a collection of essays by women from a range of backgrounds and perspectives discussing their experiences of and ideas about mikveh. For more on this and other literature, including books and websites, please see the “Resources” section of our site.

We recommend speaking directly to a Yoetzet Halacha, either in person or through our telephone hotline. You can check our directory of Nishmat Yoatzot Halacha outside Israel, or write back with your location for a referral to a Yoetzet in Israel.

Please let us know if we can be of further assistance.

This internet service does not preclude, override or replace the psak of any rabbinical authority. It is the responsibility of the questioner to inform us of any previous consultation or ruling. As even slight variation in circumstances may have Halachic consequences, views expressed concerning one case may not be applied to other, seemingly similar cases. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. Although every effort is made to ensure that the material within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is accurate and timely, it is provided for the convenience of the Web site user but should not be considered official. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional.

For further questions or comments: 

The Nishmat Women's Health and Halacha Site is a public service of Nishmat, The Jeanie Schottenstein Center for Advanced Torah Study for Women. This project and others like it are made possible by contributions from people like you. If you have benefited from the service, and wish to enable us to help others, click here to donate.

Users of Internet filtering services: This site discusses sensitive subjects that some services filter without visual indication. A page that appears 100% complete might actually be missing critical Jewish-law or medical information. To ensure that you view the pages accurately, ask the filtering service to whitelist all pages under

Accessibility Toolbar