Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Resources for reluctant husband

15 May, 2019
Question:

I got married a few weeks ago. Both my husband and I are not so religious, however, I wanted to go to the Mikvah. My husband wasn’t so thrilled about it and doesn’t understand why we need to go and why we need to wait. I have been searching online for somewhere to explain why women go to the Mikveh, what it does for the home and marriage, but I haven’t found one article explaining why. Can you point me in a direction or help me convince my husband why it is so important that out of all the laws that we keep, this is something for both of us that is necessary for the marriage?

Thank you very much!


Answer:

Mazal tov on your recent wedding!

We honor your intention to observe the halachot of mikveh immersion. As you have already realized, it is of utmost importance for your husband to be able to understand what you are trying to do and why.

There are numerous writings concerning these laws. Without knowing your husband, it is difficult to know what to recommend. One book that you might consider is Total Immersion. It is a collection of essays by women from a range of backgrounds and perspectives discussing their experiences of and ideas about mikveh. For more on this and other literature, including books and websites, please see the “Resources” section of our site.

We recommend speaking directly to a Yoetzet Halacha, either in person or through our telephone hotline. You can check our directory of Nishmat Yoatzot Halacha outside Israel, or write back with your location for a referral to a Yoetzet in Israel.

Please let us know if we can be of further assistance.

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