Nishmat's Women’s Health and HalachaIn memory of Chaya Mirel bat R' Avraham

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Uncomfortable with mikveh attendant

1 August, 2022



I am getting married soon and I recently went to the mikvah for the first time.

My experience was fine I just felt a bit stressed/nervous with the mikvah attendant watching and I don’t like being seen naked even by women. She did hold the towel up and everything but I still felt uncomfortable in the water and I didn’t feel like I had the proper Kavanah to think about everything I wanted to think about in the mikvah. I’m not really sure what to do about this or who to go to?


Mazal tov on your upcoming wedding!

We appreciate the sensitive nature of this question.

We are sorry to hear that you felt uncomfortable and consequently lacked the kavannah that you had hoped for. Rest assured that this type of lack does not affect the validity of immersion. Even so, you are permitted–if you’d like–to arrange another immersion before your wedding, without a beracha or attendant, making time for any kavannot in the water.

It can take time to adjust to mikveh immersion with an attendant, and for some women it is not comfortable. In the future, you could ask that the attendant stand as far as possible from the water, just close enough to see that your hair is fully submerged. You can also request in advance that she leave you some time alone in the water after immersion. If you prefer it, you can also arrange to have the halachically observant Jewish woman of your choice accompany you.

We hope that these suggestions help. Please don’t hesitate to be in touch going forward to follow up on this or to raise any other concern.

This internet service does not preclude, override or replace the psak of any rabbinical authority. It is the responsibility of the questioner to inform us of any previous consultation or ruling. As even slight variation in circumstances may have Halachic consequences, views expressed concerning one case may not be applied to other, seemingly similar cases. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. Although every effort is made to ensure that the material within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is accurate and timely, it is provided for the convenience of the Web site user but should not be considered official. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional.

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