We are sorry to hear of your father in law's situation and wish him a refuah sheleimah.

Your niddah status only affects the relationship between you and your husband. Whether you are niddah is irrelevant to your assisting your father-in-law and he does not need to be aware of your status.

We give you a lot of credit for your dedication to your father-in-law's care. Physical contact can be permitted in a caregiving situation when necessary, including where there are issues of sensitivity and modesty.

Nevertheless, it may be preferable to find an alternative solution to assisting him in the bathroom overnight. Your father-in-law's humiliation at your handling him highlights this point. You may assist him in any other way necessary regardless of your niddah status. We understand that it is difficult for your husband to assist him at night, but perhaps he should resume this very personal type of care, or perhaps nighttime diapers can be worn.

Please feel free to get back to us with any further questions.

B'hatzlacha!