Before her wedding, a kallah needs to perform a hefsek taharah (the initial internal examination that establishes that bleeding has stopped) and observe the shivah neki’im (seven clean days), including bedikot (internal examinations).
It is possible for a kallah to perform a hefsek taharah and bedikot even if her hymen is intact. The hymen is a membrane just inside the entrance of the vagina. The opening of the hymen, which allows for the exit of menstrual blood, is generally large and stretchy enough to accommodate a narrow tampon or a bedikah.
For some kallot, often those who have had positive experiences using tampons, performing bedikot is simple and straightforward. For others, there may be some initial discomfort, and it can take time to find a comfortable way to perform a bedikah.
It is important to know that the vaginal canal is made from muscles that can be contracted and relaxed. A woman can consciously tighten and relax these muscles. To insert a tampon or perform a bedikah, a woman has to relax the vaginal muscles so as to open up the vaginal canal.
It is also helpful to understand the internal reproductive and sexual anatomy so as to know the direction of insertion for a bedikah. The vaginal canal leans both up and toward the back. Inserting anything either only upwards or only backwards will not be effective and will press on other internal organs.
Learning about her body and physiology can also help the kallah feel more prepared for sexual intimacy after the wedding.
Some modifications can make bedikot easier and more comfortable for a kallah who is having difficulty performing them. For example, before her wedding a kallah need not insert her finger beyond the first knuckle if deeper bedikot are uncomfortable. She should take care to rotate the bedikah cloth very gently within the vagina, lightly touching internal folds and crevices. She may also omit the moch dachuk until she is comfortable performing full bedikot after the wedding.
It is important to be candid with one’s kallah teacher about how the bedikot feel, and not to force them if there is difficulty. In some cases, the number of bedikot required can be reduced. If there is pronounced discomfort or distress performing a bedikah, it is advisable to consult a physician (preferably a gynecologist) or pelvic floor physical therapist.
