Mazal tov on your recent wedding!
We appreciate that it is very hard not to touch while the wife is in
niddah, especially for newlyweds.
The restrictions of
niddah, including the prohibition on touching, apply from the time a woman enters the
niddah status until she has immersed in the mikveh. There is no halachic difference between touching during menstruation and touching during the
seven clean days.
The
harchakot, restrictions on various types of intimate behaviors during
niddah, are largely to designed to help husband and wife
avoid touch. We suggest learning about them together (as by studying the "
Conduct while Niddah" section of our site), and encouraging each other to be careful with them. You can also discuss creative strategies to help each other stop touching. These can be serious, humorous, or just distracting - whatever works for you.
Your distress over your past behavior and motivation to properly observe halacha in the future are critical first steps on the path to growth and improvement. Reaching out for guidance is also wise, and we encourage you to write back with any follow up questions.
