We are sorry to hear that taharat hamishpacha is a challenge for you. You are not alone – many couples feel that these laws are frustrating. It is important to identify the issues that bother you most, discuss them with your husband, and try to work out solutions. With time and practice these laws generally get easier.

Avoiding directly passing items from hand to hand is one of the harchakot that ensure that a couple will not touch, but the halacha applies even if they are careful to avoid contact. The awkwardness that surrounds this restriction when in public can often be eased by preparing for it in advance – discussing together ways how to smoothly and unobtrusively pass things indirectly in various situations. When in private, an extra kind word when putting something down (so as to avoid passing) can alleviate uncomfortable feelings. For some couples, humor can be a great tool to handle awkwardness or challenging situations.

Regarding preparing tea, it is permissible for your husband to prepare tea for you, although he should not serve it in a normal manner. If you are sitting at a table, he should place it slightly away from you (i.e., not directly in front of you). According to some opinions, it is sufficient for him to place it in front of you using his non-dominant hand (i.e., if he is right-handed, he may directly serve it with his left hand).

Please feel free to get back to us with any further questions.

B'Hatzlacha!