Our sages displayed great wisdom in instituting the harchakot. Sexual conversations, a husband sitting on his wife's bed, and all forms of touching are prohibited during niddah for good reason. Baruch Hashem, you were able to stop yourselves in time. However, kissing and hugging short of relations is a Torah prohibition when niddah, according to many opinions.

In the absence of sexual relations, your counting and date for the mikveh remain unchanged. You might want to consult a rabbi or scholar who knows you or your community for guidance on performing teshuvah.

You should both review the laws of harchakot together and commit yourselves to observing them scrupulously. You might wish to agree on a specific plan of action (such as one of you leaving the room, saying a perek of tehillim, whatever works) by which you can stop yourselves in the future. You can do it!

Please do not hesitate to write back with any further questions.