Thank you for reaching out to us.
We are happy to hear that you are now cancer-free, and we appreciate the sensitive nature of this question.
We share your frustration that there aren't more contraceptive options in general, and more options that put the onus on the male. Even so,
vasectomy is generally considered to be in violation of the Torah-level prohibition of sterilizing males, so it would not be an acceptable option from a halachic perspective.
As you note, condom use is also prohibited. It is considered an act of
hotza'at zera levatalah, wasting seed, which is itself a Torah prohibition. This prohibition also generally applies to other acts of ejaculation outside the vagina.
Based on your description, it sounds like you might be a good candidate for a copper
IUD. These do not secrete hormones and are very highly effective. You might also explore whether a
diaphragm with spermicide would meet your contraceptive needs at this time.
In some cases, when an IUD, diaphragm with spermicide, or hormonal contraceptives are not medically viable options,
tubal ligation may be permitted. Female sterilization is a rabbinic prohibition, which may not apply in cases of medical need.
Please see our discussion of these contraceptive options in the
Family Planning section of our site.
We wish you good health! Please don't hesitate to follow up with us.
